drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
