you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
