Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
