I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
