so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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