i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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