Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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