You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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