dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
