I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
