if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize