If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
