Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
