I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
