Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize