my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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