Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
