I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
