this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
