So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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