a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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