K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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