How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
