I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
