dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
babies were throwing up all over the place
i think i have two assholes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
