i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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