My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
