I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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