Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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