the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
