They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
