Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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