I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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