it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
