Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
