probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
