I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
