if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
