i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Found your dick twin last night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
