I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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