You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
