In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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