just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
