end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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