You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
