so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
