they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
