i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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