I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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