Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize