We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
