I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
