last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
