i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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