i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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