FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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