it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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