Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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