To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
