you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
