PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
