she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize